Boundaries and Ownership

defiance defiant parenting parenting myths parenting styles strong-willed kids warmth Oct 04, 2021
Boundaries and Ownership

When it comes to boundaries, we need to emphasize the word OWNERSHIP. You’ll hear this word a lot from us because it is essential for you and for your kids to understand.

We are the owner of things within our own personal boundaries:

  • Our actions
  • The outcome of our actions
  • Our emotions
  • Our opinions
  • Our values
  • Our words
  • Etc.

We are not the owner of others':

  • Actions
  • The responsibility of the outcome of actions
  • Emotions
  • Opinions
  • Values
  • Words
  • Etc.

Some parents try to take ownership over things within their child’s boundaries and it is not helpful.  Here are some examples:

  • Trying to control a child’s actions, forcing them to do or not to do something
  • Trying to protect a child from having to take responsibility for poor choices they’ve made (i.e. doing their homework for them, paying for things they broke, etc.)
  • Trying to change their child’s emotions rather than allowing them to feel what they feel

We want our kids to take responsibility for themselves, but that will only happen if they realize they are the owner of their own life, their own choices, their own consequences, their own emotions.

You are only responsible for what is within your boundary. You can model for your kids what it means to take ownership of your own stuff.

As you parent, it is important for you to allow your kids to own what is within their personal boundaries.

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