What if we’re trying to connect and it’s not working?!

defiance defiant parenting parenting myths parenting styles warmth Aug 10, 2021
What if we’re trying to connect and it’s not working?!

We’ve talked about what can keep us from feeling warmth towards our kids, now let’s explore what can block them from feeling warmth from us even if we’re trying hard.

What blocks our warmth towards our kids is different from what blocks our kids from feeling that warmth from us. 

Some of the things we’ll list are in our control and some are not.

A diagnosis (eg. Autism Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, etc.). Kids with atypical wiring or brain chemistry could have a perfect parent and still struggle to feel connection.  Check with your doctor if you think this may be the case for your child.

Criticism. Our kids won’t feel that our love for them is genuine if we’re criticizing them often. When we constantly bring up their mistakes, they are going to feel that they will never measure up.

Control. When we always try to control our child rather than let them make their own choices (and live with the consequences of their choices), even positive words can make them wonder if they are being manipulated. 

Emotions. When our child is emotionally dysregulated, they cannot feel love the same way as when they are calmer.

What resonated with you most? What are some other reasons you would add to the list?

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