Could Connecting be This Simple?Aug 31, 2021
We introduced you to the word "Validation" last week and this week, we're going to learn more about it.
What we’re going to teach you takes no extra time on your part. Just a little bit of intentional effort.
Every emotion that our kid's experience is an opportunity for us to see them and bond with them. When we show our kids that they are seen and that their emotions are validated, it will strengthen our bond with them.
The next time you see your child have an emotional experience, approach them and tell them you’re seeing that experience.
When a person feels seen and understood, it releases bonding chemicals in their brain. So we WANT our kids to experience this with us.
All it takes is something called VALIDATING STATEMENTS.
Validating statements look like this:
“You must feel really hurt.”
“You were really bugged by what your friend did today.”
“You hate doing chores. You’d rather do what’s fun! That makes so much sense to me.”
Statements like these show your child that you:
- See them
- Are trying to understand their experience (even if you don’t agree with what they’re feeling)
- Help them feel that their experience is valid.
All these things will help them feel more connected to you and you will feel more connected to them as you try to see things from their perspective.
Try this today.
Pay attention to when your child is experiencing an emotion and use this simple formula:
- State the emotion you see they are feeling
- State why you think they are feeling that
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