Now that you’ve set important boundaries, gave your child lots of choices, and let them take ownership over their choices, there’s one more thing that we want to emphasize about what you can do instead of taking control:

MODEL, MODEL, MODEL.

Actions speak louder than words. If you want your kids to live life healthily and responsibly, it’s better to model those behaviors yourself than spending your energy trying to control them. 

• If you have a child who struggles with emotional regulation...learn how to regulate your emotions yourself. Show them what you do when you’re feeling angry or down.
• If they have a hard time apologizing when they’ve made a mistake...be sure to apologize when you make a mistake.
• If you want them to show respect for others, be sure to emphasize your efforts to be respectful of those around you.

At some point in your child’s life, if they haven’t felt controlled by you, they can comfortably come to you and say, 

“Mom, dad, I see how good you are at ___________. Can you teach me how you’re doing that?”

Doing this will lighten the load of parenting while transforming you at the same time. Doesn’t that sound amazing?!

So what is it that your child is struggling with? Can you learn more about that thing and become a model of someone who is handling that thing well?