Where Do I Set Boundaries?

defiance defiant parenting parenting myths parenting styles strong-willed kids warmth Oct 12, 2021
Where Do I Set Boundaries?

As parents, it is important to know what your boundaries are and know how to set them and keep them with your kids.

Before we dive deeper, let me give you a simple analogy. 

Think about ski patrols. 

A ski patrol will go through the mountains and see where there might be avalanche dangers. They then create boundaries stating where guests can and can’t ski. Their responsibility involves looking over what is going to be a potential danger for those on the mountain and creating boundaries for that.

It’s similar to us parents. When setting boundaries, it comes down to this one question: 

What boundaries are needed for each person at home to feel safe?

We break it down to the following aspects:

  • Emotional Safety - These are boundaries on how we want our kids and ourselves to be treated.
  • Mental Safety - These are boundaries that protect our minds as well as our kids’. This could be in the form of limiting screen time and assessing what we feed our minds through the things we read, watch, and listen to.
  • Physical Safety - These are boundaries that protect our bodies as well as our kids’. This means that any form of physical violence is not tolerated at home.
  • Communication Safety - These are boundaries that protect how we speak to each other in the home. It could be how we set rules regarding asking permission on certain things.

Do note that these boundaries not only exist for our kids. We have to set some boundaries for ourselves, too. 

I have a little bit of a hot temper, especially with my tougher child. Because of that, I’ve had to set some limits for safety with other people from myself so that I ensure that I do not yell at anyone when I’m about to lose my temper; that I remove myself from the situation and take some time to regulate my emotions before interacting with others. (In full transparency, I still am working on this.)

Think about yourself, your kids, and your home. What limits should be made to ensure the safety of each individual?

What I have mentioned are just a few examples and it could be the same for us or you may have different ones for yourself. The key here is to be aware of the limits for safety so you know that there is a boundary that needs to be set.

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